Where Have We Been

Where Have We Been

WORKING REALLY HARD! I PROMISE…

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Please join us on our NEW and IMPROVED website www.specialneedssiblings.com !! We have transitioned and hope you can come too!! We miss you but we are back!! Thank you for giving me the support and encouragement to continue! We are a strong community and I pray we continue to grow and improve.

LOVE,

SNS

The Sibling Seesaw

The Sibling Seesaw

Long time… No write… Count it to my head not my heart.

Lately, as a mother I have been on this rollercoaster of emotion especially with my boys, Caleb and Christian. I have spoken previously about inclusion and understanding regarding Caleb and his older autistic brother Christian. Now, I have been put in a bit of a pickle and I am praying I make the right decision.

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My sons are pretty close in age, 11 and 9, so their entire circle of close friends is the same.  I wouldn’t consider myself a helicopter mom, but they have never spent the night at anyone’s house other than family. So that pretty much brings us to date. One of their friends is having a sleepover and invited them to attend. Now, I agreed without hesitation because I know the parents, the children, and am comfortable with the environment.  This was a few weeks ago. Now I am hesitant. The birthday sleepover is this Saturday and I find myself extremely anxious. I do not want to separate my boys because they were both invited.

Firstly, I do not want Christian to attend and something negative happens while in someone else’s care. Sounding very ‘helicopter’ like, but I really do not feel at ease entrusting someone with him that isn’t trained or equipped to deal with his differences. Then I go back on my seesaw and think of Christian. I remember walking in to pick him up a couple weeks ago at daycare and he was balled up in a corner while younger kids were throwing blocks at him. He is 11 years old, but he was curled up crying. He was saying repeatedly, ‘Stop it. Stop it. No one likes me. No friend.” I had to remove him immediately. He has finally begun to associate himself with feelings of acceptance and friendship. He will ask for some of the boys attending the sleepover by name. This has been a transitional year for him going to middle school.  Christian has been making such great progress towards his communication. He is trying to hold conversations with kids his age rather than just standing parallel with them. If I do not allow him to attend am I also holding him back or simply protecting him.

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Secondly, there is his wonderful brother Caleb. Caleb is super excited about attending his first sleepover! No girls allowed, unlimited video games, pizza galore he is pumped up! I am thrilled he can spend time with his friends. He has spent the first half of the school year successfully bringing up his grades and receiving positive conduct reports. He has stood up for his brother numerous times… even though they still treat my house like a WWE match. I am so proud of his progress! He deserves some unfiltered fun.

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I’m torn because I would like Caleb to enjoy a sleepover without the undue pressure of watching Christian; on the other hand, I don’t want to deprive Christian of social development. Is it insensitive putting Christian’s special restrictions and concerns on another family during a time of fun?

I know this is just the beginning.  As they get older Caleb will want to do things on his own. Christian will need friends with more similarities. Is that even the right way to say it? I have never been good at being politically correct. I am blunt and bubbly. Yet, I really do not know in the moment. I do not know what choice I will make, but I pray for the peace to make it. I pray they both know how much I love them. How I would do anything to protect and nurture them, physically and emotionally.

All this just to say it is another day in the life of Special Needs Siblings. Do you have a similar experience? How did you cope? I would to hear about it!

Special Needs Siblings: Ciara & Steele Hibdon

Special Needs Siblings: Ciara & Steele Hibdon

❤️🌟 A deep thank you to Miss Southeast International, Ciara Hibdon, of Fayetteville Arkansas. She is the older sister of Steele and we honor her for being such an amazing big sister!! We love you, SNS 🌟

Steele and I have had quite the extraordinary life. Being exactly two years and two days apart we share a close bond and have shared countless birthday parties.

At the age of three, Steele was diagnosed with autism. I was five at the time. I remember hearing the word autism for the first time and thinking, “but there’s nothing wrong with him”. Since that day it has been my mission to be his advocate and a Hero for Autism. Through our brother sister bond I have learned compassion, patience and most importantly hard work.

We were told Steele would never graduate high school, this fall he will be attending the University of Arkansas studying journalism in the honors program. None of this would have been possible without his Heroes for Autism.

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As Miss Southeast International I am spreading the message of autism acceptance through my platform Heroes for Autism, we often hear of autism awareness but not acceptance. My job, to educate and encourage others to reach out and befriend those who minds work a little differently and help create a world that is more sensory friendly for these people.

I am working with Walmart Corporate on enhancing the shopping experience for those who have autism and other special needs by offering quiet hours and assistance shopping and checking out. It’s the simple things that make the biggest difference.

Steele has gone to infinity and beyond to be where he is today and I am so proud of the young man he has become. He inspires me each and every day and makes me strive to be a better person. He truly is a Hero for Autism.

Special Needs Siblings: Alex & Jackson

Special Needs Siblings: Alex & Jackson

❤️🌟 A heartwarming thank you to Rebecca, a  34 year old mother of four: Alex (8), Jackson (7), Ava (6), and Isabel (4), from Tennessee. She allowed her son Alex to take part in our SNS interview and share parts of his heart with us! We honor you, Alex! SNS 🌟❤️

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SNS: What is your favorite memory?

Alex: “When Jack and I rode roller coaster together at Dollywood and we screamed and laughed and had a great time!”

SNS: Are there any activities you like because of your sibling(s)?

Alex: “I love making Jack laugh! He thinks it’s funny when I act out different movies and we play together. He makes me want to be a better actor, so I’m always trying to find new costumes and things to make him laugh and happy.”

SNS: Has your sibling ever influenced the type of friends you associate with? 

Alex: “Some of my friends I don’t talk to anymore, because they made fun of Jack when he left school. It wasn’t Jack’s fault but they won’t listen and they wouldn’t leave him alone, so I don’t hang out with them now.”

SNS: Does your relationship with your sibling(s) make you strive to better yourself in any aspect of your life?

Alex: “Jack makes me want to be kind. He makes me want to help other people and he shows me how to be strong. I like that Jack thinks I’m funny and that I can help cheer him up whenever he’s upset or angry.”

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SNS: Do you think your positive relationship with your sibling(s) has helped you gain important characteristics such as confidence and compassion?

Alex: “Jack showed me that I have to stand up for people. If I see someone getting picked on or made fun of, I have to step in and tell the other guy ‘hey, knock it off!’ And if they don’t, I have to find a teacher and get them to stop. It’s not funny to pick on people and I don’t like it when kids pick on people who can’t talk.”

SNS: What are two things you wish everyone could know about people with a disability?

Alex: “I wish people knew that Jack can’t help it sometimes. When he gets upset, he’s trying not to be, but he doesn’t know how to say what he wants to, and that makes him mad. I wish people wouldn’t make fun of Jack. It hurts my feelings, because Jack just wants to be friends with people. He’s my best brother and my best friend. And I have to help him because I’m his big brother and I love him.”

SNS: What in your view should people not say to siblings of people with a disability?

Alex: “Don’t make fun of people with autism. It isn’t funny. They aren’t making fun of you!”

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Special Needs Siblings: Scholarship Opportunity

Special Needs Siblings: Scholarship Opportunity

Yow Sibling Scholarship

SCHOLARSHIP INFORMATION:

Yow Sibling Small Scholarship Application: Due May 31, 2017 by 11:59pm

Requirements for Scholarship: must be a college student who ACTIVELY participates in taking care of their sibling with a physical ailment, physical disease, and/or physical disability. Must be enrolled as full time student, and must not be on academic probation. The limitations are not bound by state or university in which the individual attends. —email proof of enrollment at a University to Bella Soul (does not need to be a transcript; scholarship is not based on GPA but will be taken into account)

Name:

Year:

GPA:

University:

Disease/Disorder:

Please write a 3 page double spaced story about the triumphs and struggles of helping to take care of your sibling with a disease/disorder. Include answers to the following questions: Explain your day to day routine. Explain what you have learned from your sibling who is confronting a disability. What advice would you give to another individual confronting similar adversity?

Link for more information: http://livebellasoul.org/scholarships/sibling-scholarship

Special Needs Siblings: We Need You

Special Needs Siblings: We Need You

If you know a special needs sibling…
If you are a special needs sibling…
If you are the parent of a special needs sibling…
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#SpecialNeedsSiblings

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SpecialNeedsSiblings@gmail.com

He Is My Hero

He Is My Hero

❤️🌟Thank you Lauren Cantu for sharing part of your heart with us being a Special Needs Sibling. Your passion, humor and love are felt in so many ways! We honor you! SNS 🌟❤️

I am the older sister of a beautiful baby boy with special needs, his names Jacinto a.k.a monkey a.k.a dweeb a.k.a sissybooboos pumpkin head. He inspires me, that boy is my hero he has been through so much and still smiles and is always full of happiness. It doesn’t matter where we are he always gets me dancing and singing my heart out!! One piece of advice when speaking to a Special Needs Sibling: ‘Ask all the questions you want, but just don’t make any smart ass remarks!’

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